Clusterf*** At O’Hare
Well, I’m back in the states and will be posting about my short Danish excursion soon. In the meantime, here’s the story of an asian dude who flew 14 hours to O’Hare airport to find out that his flight had been transferred to another flight 6 hours later, then canceled and ironically put on standby on his original flight, only to get pushed to standby to the next flight 4 hours later while booking another ticket as back-up for an even later flight, and then taking a much deserved one hour nap only to wake and find that he was dropped from standby and all existing flight reservations, and having to explain the situation to the most ambivalent customer representative ever in the universe who tried to blame him for taking a nap without double checking everything even though he was repeatedly assured everything was fine which was why he took a nap in the first place, and then chewing out said lazy representative, well, because angry, then going to another representative who had no problem fixing his issue in less than 5 minutes, and then waiting for the last flight out of O’Hare only to find out that it had no crew because the crew hadn’t flown in yet, and the entire tarmac was backed up, so said asian dude called O’Hare dedicated flight booking line to reserve the first flight out in the morning as yet another back up plan and then learning that his current flight was now a standby situation which was even more frustrating, so much tired and hangry (that’s a word) asian dude decides to take residence in the airport for the night on the many provided cots at the butt end of the airport where everyone is looking dead wasted like a congregation of drunken frat partiers, but much less fun because there was no drunkenness, nor extreme partying, just exhausted travelers spending the night together huddled on their cold cots, dreaming of the salvation of their return flight to cozy homes (car in his case), only to get rudely woken at 4AM because why not?, so groggy asian dude gets a free toothbrush kit and groggily saunters over to the bathroom to take care of the biz only to realize his pants keep falling down and then realizing his belt is in his checked-in luggage, so what does our mighty hero do?, he pulls out the airplane earphones he wisely kept just in case of audio emergency and uses it for pantaloon emergency, after admiring his handiwork he zombie shuffles over to the gate where his flight is…dun, dun, dun…on time and he finds an unopened bag of popcorn just sitting next to him unattended, so he asks around for the owner with no reply and with big grin on face proceeds to stuff his mouth full of puffy, caramel goodness while waiting for his still on time flight and then finally, after 19 hours delayed at O’Hare, he gets on his flight back to Kansas City where it’s cold as a winter shit stuck on the frozen tundra. The End.
– Laidover Rabbit