BOX has led me down some strange emotional roads. I twist and tumble around in my mind as I search for the stories to tell. I have had to draw from a myriad of moments in my life to mold and meld into fictional autobiographical short vignettes. Sometimes I have to go into a very dark place in my mind. and every so often an enormous red light decides to plop itself down and stall the entire writing process. This is how it’s been the past few days. It’s not writer’s block. It’s more like life block and, in typical me fashion, sadness accompanies this.
You may wonder what the image above has anything to do with a post on sadness. It’s simple. My sadness comes from the failure of a promise I made a long time ago to a unique little girl. This broken promise has been a steady companion of mine never quite letting me out of its sight. Always a reminder, forever a bottled message that I can never seem to throw far enough away before it drifts back to me. This I deserve and it is something I have come to accept.
My sadness gives.
It gives focus to my intentions. All that I create, I create in hopes of mending this promise before my heart gives out. It has taught me how to live a compassionate life with kindness for myself and others. For without compassion, my sadness is only good for staring into an abyss devoid of hope. It has served me well as a counterpoint. It gives me the inner walls and barriers that challenge me to overcome everyday. Forcing me to see the world for its beautiful absurdity and opening myself up to possibility and potentialities. This sadness has been a strange bedfellow. I pour it into this silly book that I’m writing and in the end…
my sadness gives to you.
– Rabbit Gives